It's interesting how things affect people. A lot of the things my mother said Wednesday night hurt a lot more than anything else. I've been censoring myself less and less because I thought she wouldn't judge and that I could talk about ideas and things I find interesting. I've been wrong to do so. My mom is very conservative and rigid in the way she thinks. I thought I was making our relationship better by being so open.

She always wonders why I don't believe in myself. I think part of it goes straight back to her when she explains that I am the source of all of her problems. I thought that she was saying this out of anger and frustration, but every time she explains it, it makes sense. She is right.

I really don't know what to do with myself.

I want to do what she tells me to do. I really do. All I know is that I'm very tired.

I talked to Manny Wednesday night. Only because I felt like no one was really there. I didn't say anything of what had happened. We just conversed as a acquaintances.